What Does Satan represent to me?
This is one of the most basic questions that I have been asked over the years - and the answer depends on which view you want to take on what Satan represents. In other words there is no one singular definition that can cover all of the various beliefs and ideas that relate to Satan. For some, Satan is a symbolic image, and for others, like me, Satan is a god-force, a spiritual deity.
In this essay I would like to explain my experiences with Satan. My dealings with Satan have been deep and intense throughout my life for so many years. I began on the path when I was only 13, and for me it was the greatest experience of my life, spiritually, emotionally and physically. I was attracted to Satan even though I was not really raised in a Christian household. It was the lure of the left hand path and its [supposed] dangers that lead me there when I took my oath to be one with Satan. At the time I felt that he was a demonic force, and I had never doubted the existence of gods, spirits or other beings.
In those early days of Satanism, Satan became a god figure to me. I felt, and saw the benefits of allying with him. I struggled with the ideas of religious repercussion and the afterlife, even though I was not really ever a Christian! So it was an experience of fear and empowerment for me. But when I experienced this empowerment, independence, and self-satisfaction in my life, this was the force of Satan that was moving through me. This is a force of opposition, and manifestation. If I could use the tarot cards for an example of what I feel it represents, it would be the Justice card. This force is something that I feel represents Satan as the god of this world. To objectify this idea - it is something that moves through every one of us as humans throughout our lives, and in the wild through the forces of nature.
This is how I have experienced Satan as a deity, by symbolizing this force into a god-form while simultaneously letting the forces of Satan work through me, and by this method, the satanic current is manifested. This is not to say that I give up my will to this force and am subservient to it; but that this force enables me to manifest my own will in the way that I desire. It is a way of actualizing my potential. It is working in unison with the force of Satan - not for it, or against it. This may seem like an odd approach to an adversarial path, but there has to be some sort of neutral way that is beneficial to both Satan and me.
Certain Fate.Forces of Satan were symbolized in my early years as a Satanist through worship and ritualizing. After my life experiences and beginning in 2004, I started again on the path of Satanism and magic. I created a pact with Satan again that year so that I could return to Satanism with a new purpose. This was also when I realized that there were two main types of Satanists, generally - those who were atheist or materialist and those who were theist that had a spiritual or religious view.
I was able to experience a more spiritual view, as I moved further away from satanic worship. My re-awakened experience with Satanism became an expression of Spiritual Satanism. I still choose to personify Satan as an entity, simply for the sake of convenience at times, to represent this force under one name and one ideal. However, the confining rules and dogma of religion did not interest me, and the idea of belonging to an organization and following the beliefs created by them was not useful to me, either.
This is why I am an independent Satanist. I have my own views, ideas and practices of spirituality. I recognize Satan as a god. Satan is God of this world, nothing more or nothing less. It has been a spiritual force that has been in my life for a long time. This is how I have found my strength, from within.